The catch-phrase these days is “behavioral therapy” or “behavioral modification.” Professionals often recommend a “behavioral plan” as a first step if a child begins to “act out” (behave badly.) People like it because it makes behavior seem measurable and observable. If your child inappropriately calls out answers in class over 10 times a day, progress can be measured when she calls out only 2 times a day.
Behavioral therapy works from the idea that actions or behaviors that are followed by a reward are more likely to happen again. On the other hand, actions or behaviors that are not followed by a reward will be less likely to occur again. The key to behavioral plans is the reward
system. The idea of “consequences” refers to not getting the reward, and does not mean punishment.
The reward system sometimes requires tweaking. Different children respond to different rewards. Sometimes this is due to age, but as they grow older effective rewards will often reflect your family’s individual interests and values.
The most effective rewards are free: genuine praise and interest in your child. Shifting potential rewards to objects may have the unfortunate effect of decreasing the effectiveness of the free ones.
One common trap involves the use of genuine interest. Genuine interest may come from a range of your actions. It’s easy to see how playing checkers together and making dinner together might involve genuine interest, but there’s another way. When you scold or yell at your child, this could be perceived as genuine interest. If this happens, you might be making the scolding the reward. When your child is “acting out” you might be rewarding him when you scold him, which makes the probability of acting out in the future greater.
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